Dear Sophia,
I started writing this post because I wanted to put down in words the best way to explain your heart to the fiercely-faithful friends and family who are praying for you with all of their hearts. But as the words filled the page, it became a letter to you. It became a letter to you that explains your little heart the best way that I know how.
I want you to know—I need you to know—that your heart is not wrong, your heart is different and there’s a difference. I hope one day that you come to understand the level of detail that was put into building your heart this way. Everything about your heart was a surprise to us, but your heart was not a surprise to the One who put it together. There was precision, perplexity, and perfection sewn into every part of you—on purpose for a purpose. You might be wondering what sets you apart. And I guess at some point in your life, you’ll hear words like pulmonary hypertension and aortic coarctation and right pulmonary artery displacement and aortic dissection. It’s okay if those words scare you, they scared us too. But it means that when God designed you, He put a piece of your heart in a place that’s a bit unusual. Then He went to work on orchestrating all of the vessels that help your heart work, and He made them just a bit smaller than He does with other babies. And when He put the finishing touches on your perfect little body, He used molecules that He doesn’t use in other people. There’s a verse that says “and when He looked over all that He had made, He saw that it was good” and I kind of think that’s what God thought about you.
We keep discovering new surprises and mysteries about the way you were built. Your doctors use words like “rare” and “never seen before.” They don’t have answers for everything we ask them about you, and so far, the architect has chosen to stay uncomfortably quiet on the subject. Sophia, I will always remind you how special you are, but the truth is, I’m a little afraid of your extraordinariness. I spend a lot of nights wondering if God chose the right momma for this job. But even now, in the middle of all this fear, I know that the things that are different about you are going to make a difference.
Some day you will come and tell me that your heart is broken and l will tell you the story of when we tried to fix your broken heart and God told us there was nothing broken to fix. I will tell you that I’ve seen God work through your broken heart before, and that same God is here to work through your broken heart now. He’ll use the pieces that feel out of place to write your story. He’s done it before. He’s doing it now.
Love,
Your mom